#I WANT TO KILL MYSELF PROFESSIONAL#
(Those “red flags” are more commonly seen in adolescents than in younger children, but it’s good to be aware of them.) Even if the professional doesn’t see imminent risk, he or she may recommend treatment to help your youngster deal with his distress. If he does say that he really is thinking about hurting or killing himself, if he has made a suicide attempt in the past, if he is seriously depressed*, or is using drugs or alcohol, then you want to take him promptly for an evaluation by a mental health professional skilled in evaluating youngsters for suicidal risk. What did you mean by that?” You may want a specific follow-up question: “Are you really thinking of hurting yourself?” Help me understand what’s going on.” As the conversation goes on, you can ask in a gentle voice, “I heard you saying you want to kill yourself. You can start by saying in a calm voice, “I can see you’re upset. You’re not assuming anything you’re not accusing him of anything you’re just tuning in to him and finding out what he’s trying to let you know. You don’t want to convey a sense of panic, so take a step back and take some deep breaths. They don’t mean it literally any more than they mean it literally when they tell their mothers, “You’re a mean witch and I hate you!” You want to take your son’s distress seriously, but not jump to conclusions about what his words mean. Those words are also said by children whose families have not experienced a loss from suicide, just because they are so dramatic. Most often, a child is simply using words he knows are powerful and attention-getting in order to underline his level of distress rather than to convey actual suicidal intent. Your son is trying to communicate something to you, but at this point it isn’t clear what that is. It can feel very scary when your child says he wants to kill himself, particularly if someone you love has completed suicide. If you’re overwhelmed by your situation, our Suicide Call Back Service counsellors are available on 1300 659 467.Find Support / Children & Teens / Supporting Children and Teens after a Suicide Death / When Your Child Says, “I’m Going to Kill Myself!” Supporting Children and Teens after a Suicide Death: When Your Child Says, “I’m Going to Kill Myself!”īy Anne Berenberg, PhD and Vicki Scalzitti Q: “When my 9-year-old son gets frustrated, he says, ‘I’m going to kill myself!’ This touches all of my buttons, and I don’t know what to say.” You should be in a positive relationship where you feel safe, stable and happy. You don’t want to be in a toxic relationship. You can also lean on other people you trust for support. You can discuss with the person how you are feeling. If you think that the relationship isn’t healthy, this can possibly change if both people are committed to doing so. Pay attention to how the relationship makes you feel. Your relationship should make you happy, not sad. You will have disagreements and arguments from time to time, but ultimately your relationship shouldn’t make you unhappy. You keep looking back to the early stages of your relationship because you are not happy with where it is now. Lack of respect can also be when they consistently put you down or make fun of you. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you should respect each other’s opinions and values. When you don’t trust the person, or they don’t trust you, it makes it hard to communicate and spend time together. The person is restricting you from meeting up with other friends and makes you feel guilty when you do.
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A healthy relationship needs both people to contribute. Or the other person only talks about themselves and never asks about you. You notice that you’re the one putting in the effort – making plans, calling the person and so on. You may feel that you can’t be yourself around this person. You are always walking on eggshells worried that you are going to upset the other person.
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You or the other person is bottling things up and saying them at a time when you know it will hurt the person.
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It’s okay to have some space, but if the person refuses to communicate after a reasonable amount of time, it will be hard to sort things out. You’ve argued, and now the person is refusing to talk to you for an extended period. If the person becomes violent, you need to let someone else know what is going on and remove yourself from the situation safely and quickly. If this happens a lot, there could be a problem. What should be small disagreements constantly turn into big arguments that you don’t resolve. There may be obvious things that aren’t working, but there are also subtle signs that something isn’t quite right. You are in a relationship – romantic or friendship – but it isn’t going that well recently.